An introduction to my new physics

I’ve got my keyboard low, just like I’m leaned back and cruising with the handlebars near my knees.

I’m developing a crystalline view of the universe now. I’ve discovered a few more of the rules. I call my system PoLR or Path of Least Resistance. That’s why I’m writing, that’s why we’re here.

Rules:

The path of least resistance = the shortest distance between two points + resistance

Where there is resistance there is “clot”

Clot attracts mass and therefore has gravity

This explains a lot about mass psychology, man!

Where I always see it is out surfing the masses. Traffic! Saigon’s got some crazy waves.

If you’re not into surfing, I apologize. For me, surfing traffic is epiphanous (fun). If you are into surfing, I apologize as well. As much as I enjoy ocean waves I have never learned the lingo of, well, say the Oceanus Californian Homo Surpien. (- author: struggling to say that 5 times, fast) I have endeavoured, as all human children will, to create my own language to describe surfing, and therefore my own slang.

“What is the difference between a" - snobby sneer in voice - "language and a slang or creole?” A drum roll please…. “An army and a navy.”

Was I coming to a point? Oh, yeah.

There are an infinite variety of waves surrounding us completely at all times. We are bathed in rippling pools of light. Carry on our bodies waves of stench and decay, perfume and red lace. There are ways of enjoying many of these waves as do the Oceanus Fijian Homo Surpien.

I, I surf traffic.